The mask- a tag to red meat
by asquare98
Summary: The after effect of the barbitol Dean consumed was beginning to take a toll and it is not going to be an easy ride..
1. Chapter 1

Dean did not know what to say or do,he was perfectly fine when they left the relief centre and he hoped that for once luck gave in but luck as always proved him wrong,driving his baby he was in pain and it was intense even with the high tolerance the winchesters possessed. did not know how much longer he could continue driving but telling sam was not even an option since that would mean confessing that he committed suicide and Dean knew his brother wouldn't take well to his cowardice , he decided to do what he always did which in the words of the yellow eyed demon was-"Mask all that nasty pain."Yep it had become a part of his M.O

But this time he did not know whether he could Go through with his usual techniques, his insides felt like it was going through a chopper and the nausea was unbearable. He could feel the coppery taste of blood in his mouth.'No,not yet,I can hold it for a little while longer,at least till we reach a motel and try and sleep it off'.,He tried telling himself this every time he felt like passing out or just giving up .The idea of a bed seemed equivalent to Heaven,but this is Dean Winchester we are talking about and Dean Winchester doesn't give up easily and he continued to drive...

To Be Continued...(As the story proceeds,the chapters will become longer..)


	2. Chapter 2

"Dean...Should we stop for a moment?You seem tired.".

"No Sam let's just find a motel without wasting anymore time."

"Yeah okay grumpy...If you say so.."

 **Blink,Blink,Blink- '** shit! My eyelids are going out of control, shit! something wet is trickling down my nose..God I hope it's not what I think it it is .If so, how am I going to look at Sam? How can I tell him to take control without revealing the truth?'

Dean knew that the situation was out of his hands the minute his nose started bleeding he could conceal the pain,he could mask the drowsiness and the nausea but how can he hide something so physical as blood? and at the moment he was in no condition to think of any clever plans due to the cruciating pain coursing his system , he couldnt drive any more.. Let alone driving he couldnt even sit anymore .After all he is only human. so, he tried to wipe his nose clean with his jacket sleeve and called Sam.

"Sam,Sammy wake up.."

"What is it Dean?"-Sam was surprised that Dean woke him .It was not usual for Dean to disturb him while he got some much needed z's. At least not for a few years now since the prank wars came to an end and they called truce.

The first thing Sam noticed was the remnants of dried blood under Dean's nose.

"Dean what's wrong?Why is your nose bleeding?".

"Don't know..Must be all that stress my pain in the ass little brother puts me under."

"Stop joking Dean and tell me what's going on. you hurt?Did the werewolves get you too?"

Dean would have replied with a better comeback if he was not in so much pain . Right then the only thing he could concentrate on was to keep his eyes open and his mouth from screaming.

"Hey sam I am kind of sleepy,Can you get behind the wheels for a little bit and find the closest motel?"

"Yeah sure Dean".-This was all the proof Sam needed to confirm that Dean was not alright .but if Dean did not want to say what's wrong,Sam did not want to push. Dean stopped the car and was about to get out when the fact that Sam was shot and had an injury which could get aggravated if pressure was applied struck him, so he just pushed the accelerator and continued driving before sam got a chance to get out.

"Hey I thought you wanted me to drive."

"you can drive my baby...Over my dead body..I just wanted to wake you up. "

"Yeah whatever dude."-and Sam went back to sleep.

The pain dean was experiencing was becoming over whelming. He literally had to bite his lower lip to keep from moaning and at one point he couldn't stop the tears from flowing. He just knew one thing ..He needed to stop and fast. But what was missing was a motel...

 **Please review... this is just the beginning...Next chapter they get to the motel...**


	3. Chapter 3

After driving for about an hour under excruciating pain Dean finally found a motel and at that moment there was no better description of heaven for just wanted to lie down right there and go to sleep but not all wishes come true... and so Dean painfully moved his hand to hit Sam in the shoulder startling him awake.

"What Dean?What should a guy do to get some sleep around here?"

"Maybe carry his stuff and go park his ass in one of the beds inside."

"Oh did we reach a motel already?"

"Finally sleeping beauty has woken up."

In response to this sam shoves Dean in the stomach and though Dean somehow managed to hide his grimace from Sam, in that second Dean saw white and the pain just increased ten fold.'I Have to eat something for the pain.'Was the only thought coursing through the weakened cells of his brain ,although part of him knew that more drugs were the last thing his body needed right then,'to hell with logic'RIGHT?.

On entering the motel room he found it to be quite clean unlike some of the dumpsters he had stayed in in the course of his stays in multiple the look of the room he was sure that there would be a fair amount of hot water in the shower and he just wanted to melt away all the pain but he did not know whether he had the strength to undergo such a simple procedure which did not seem so simple right about then;

Sam could sense something was wrong from Dean's behaviour and in the the way he walked inside the room without carrying his own stuff. Infact this was the first time he ever did that and for the same reason Sam decided to carry Dean's stuff without confronting him about entering the room which was surprisingly clean,Sam found that Dean had already got into the ,himself was in a lot of pain and was looking forward to a hot shower,some good drugs and more than anything, a good night's sleep.

little did he know he was going to get none that night...

Dean came out of the shower looking like death warmed over but Sam did not notice the pain or exhaustion clearly etched into his brother's face probably because of his own pain and exhaustion. He just needed to get rid of the pain so he jumped into the bathroom as soon as dean got out and closed the door.

After the shower Dean was expecting some relief ,but in real his situation just worsened. He couldn't even stand and his vision was so blurry that he couldn't even see where he was going. He decided to to sleep it off and headed towards his bed near the door but that was when he remembered that he had left some papers regarding the hospital visit ,in the car(some test reports or something) and if sammy takes the car in the morning to get breakfast he would find it and freak out and Dean did not want that to happen. So,Dean decided to take his chances,go outside and tear those reports before going to bed. the idea of drugs still seemed to be pretty good to him but his brain kept telling him no.

So with great difficulty he reached up to the door and went outside and tore those papers .He was mentally congratulating himself for completing the task and was headed back to the room but he was not so lucky on his way hit him from out of no where and he found himself crumbling to the ground partially because he couldn't bear to dry retch while standing up since his legs were betraying and partially because he couldn't see any more due to the blackness clouding his , he just lay 3 feet in front of their motel room dry retching and trying to control the didn't think he could do this for much longer but again coming clean was not an option.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam just finished his shower and came out groaning because of the strain the shower caused to his system, more particularly his injury which he knew, still had a long way to go before healing completely. On finding Dean missing ,at first he rejoiced since if Dean had heard the sign of pain Sam let out,He would have started his mother henning routine again ,but the joy was replaced with doubt and worry almost instantly.

Dean was not a person who would just up and leave. that was more like Sam and Sam felt guilty even thinking about how worried his brother would have been when he left to stanford without uttering a word about it. Throughout his life Sam had given Dean only pain. Whilst Dean would never agree to this and would call him an attention seeking bastard,Sam knew from the depths of his heart that if he had not been in Dean's life,Dean would have been better off.

Sam still remembers how angry John looked when they found Sam after he ran off to Flag staff but the anger was not directed at him, it was directed at Dean.

Dean- who tried to protect Sam.

Dean- who had no clue that Sam was going to take off while he slept for the few hours that he did in the absence of his dad.

Dean-Who gave up his childhood for him.

Sam also remembers the lash marks Dean wore for about a week after that-The present john gave him for being careless. sam still can't figure out why John never beat him or even confronted him regarding the matter. Maybe it was easier to take out his rage on a person who would never complain, a person who would never back answer, a person who would silently endure all the pain without a word if it meant keeping his brother from it,A person who would readily kill himself for his brother- DEAN.

Sam was now in a whole new world of guilt because he knew after all that his brother did for him, he still left for stanford without a word and that must have hurt Dean in ways innumerable.

Sam has no idea about Dean's plight when he left ,but taking into consideration the gruesome behaviour of his dad,Dean must have suffered beyond limits and to top it all Dean must have thought he deserved it.

Sam had no idea why all these things were coming back to his mind after such a long time. Afterall it had been 15 years since it all happened it had to be the drugs coursing his system. drugs always brought back memories and unlike Dean,He did not have any good ones.

He was always secretly jealous of Dean because of that. Dean got to be with their mom even if it was only for four years, but something was always better than nothing. He did have Jess but thinking about her brought in a line of other memories that included a ceiling,a body and fire and Sam did not want to go down that road even for a second. After all these years that image was still embedded in his mind like it just happened yesterday and unlike the other horrible things he saw and then forgot,This was not fading and he did not know why.

Sam suddenly surfaced from his thought and immediately cursed himself for losing himself in unwanted self pity whilst his brother was missing He quickly opened the door to check for the impala and was astounded by the sight in front of him.

Dean lay in the cold concrete like a rag doll and there was blood pooling under his mouth. Sam did not know what to do. He ran upto Dean and tried waking him up but all he got in response was a groan so weak and pain-filled that it hurt Sam.

Sam did not think of anything else after that,he just carried Dean inside albeit his earlier decision of never doing that again after Dean punched him last time for carrying him like a maiden in distress.


End file.
